HEy havent written in a while..
let me paste a part of my SOCA essay..
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As I pass each day I often am absorbed into my own world, my thoughts. I often observe the world around me and sometimes when doing so I feel as if I am an alien or invisible to other people, just like when watching a movie. I guess that is why sometimes people can see real life supposedly traumatic events such as September 11 on TV or witnessing a burglary, and still not shudder or be affected by it. By “absorbing into my world” – one would think this as a cutting off yourselves of relations. This is true, in terms of the “living” relationships that is. But being absorbed in one’s world also means you are using that privacy to relate to the “non-living” – information of other living things, music, thoughts, daydreams, objects, and so on.
I can see that for me I like to relate to people by knowing them, understanding them and sharing things about and with them. This is often done by observation and communication with observation taking place more often as time is spent alone more than with others.

An example of being absorbed into my world would be when I am observing others’ communication or responses to situations. What normally would happen is that I just be silent, listening and observing their behaviours and evaluating what they are doing – judging different people’s reactions and actions, ideas and views.
Then, depending on the circumstances, I would use this information to analyse things and wonder what would happen if this or that were to occur, thinking of the possible solutions to problems yet not really interacting with the individuals or speaking much at all; most of this happening in my mind.
This may show that I am not wanting to be involved or afraid of what would happen if I was in the picture – I myself becoming an object of my view, therefore observing others was a way of feeling more secure? But when one becomes involved in the situation one is observing one would not be able to observe with objectiveness or be able to see all things happening; to judge what was happening, who was right or wrong, what factors were affecting certain things, why was it happening, how this person is affecting that person etc.
Yet, if someone were to be in the same situation and thinking the same way as I was and maybe expressing it to me, I would feel both a sense of unity and a sense of intrusion because I get the impression that there is someone who understands me and can think as I do, yet it seems as if this other person has somehow opened or tapped into my mind, looked into my thoughts and disturbed my line of thought.
Or, taking another stance, someone could in turn be observing me and looking at me and evaluating what I am doing. This would definitely feel uncomfortable if I were to notice that there was an “other” looking at me and doing the same as I was to me. I would suddenly realise my actions and be self-conscious. I would be distracted from what I was doing and not be in my “world” anymore. I may also start feeling like I need to be more normal to not let this “other” notice that I notice his/her gaze so therefore I would feel as if my actions are suddenly being controlled by the other as if I am acting in a certain way for this other, which would mean that my actions would become more fabricated. My actions also can be something that I am forcing myself to do.
An example can be, one day I was walking to my tutorial and I heard and kind of glanced at this guy who I at that first instance I only thought was talking about me to this other guy, and after I knew that he really was talking about me I unconsciously forced myself to walk into the classroom without first waiting for my new friend who was just a few metres to the right of me. It was as if something took over me and controlled me, it was a flight reaction.
I think the reason was I wanted to avoid attention or the spotlight, or maybe it was because it seemed weird to me that I was mentioned in third person, that someone was talking about me in front of me so I didn’t know how to react to it except to avoid it all together.