Friends...

I've realised that I'm pretty self focused, always worrying too much about what ppl think about myself.. I found that I'm the type who often waits for ppl to initiates to talk to me etc, or make effort to keep up with relations.. --I used to be like this.. cos i wasnt the one to call ppl or organise things, cos i normally wouldnt be allowed to go out that much so that i let others do the organising so that i could maybe go etc..
But lately I've talked to a friend or two and they showed different views of me..
- The fact that i don't talk to my friends much.. unless they do me - like my highschool or primary school friends, and even some acquaintances..
- The fact that I make effort to talk to some ppl but don't get the same in return...

I think it might be somewhat related to the way we first start off as friends, like whether they were the one who wanted to talk to me a lot or me who did etc..
quite interesting..
i was "rebuked" by a friend just then saying that i dont keep up with our friends in hs etc :P and that i should try more...
but then i said that i spend time on other friends too.. etc
well that's the prob of having too many "friends" and acquaintances so much that i dont have close friends.. and so much that all my friends are demanding attn :P
well i dont know what to do.. but i will try my best .. and not be lazy ..:P