Name theory:
I have recently met another Vincy- she also does Psych and is in 2nd year ^^
In my life I have known only two Vincy/ies :P and i have Heard of 3 other vincies from other people..
In icq I have searched for some vincies who were older than me by a few years..
In xanga i have found some vincies too..
anyway my point is..
Does the uniqueness of the name have anything to do with character of the person?
I think we might learn about it a bit in personality psych..
For the other psych Vincy, she says she has never known anyone with our name and that I was the first she had ever met~
So you think that changes her?
Well i suppose i never knew any other Vincy until year twelve maybe? when someone mentioned they had other Vincy's as friends..
But I vaguely saw another Vinci, around that time, and she now does Optom..
Both Vincys that i know are quite different..
They are both girly though,
For me, i know that my name has caused me to become shy in a way, and the need to be "normal" was stronger, and the thing i hated about having a unique name in high school was that people teased me and teachers called my name wrongly..
Having a unique name makes you think you are special..
Yet having a name that doesnt really mean anything lets you have the freedom to make it what you like...
People with names that mean something and know it from young, may end up becoming that something or having that characteristic.. it is all unconciously done...
So how has your name changed your life?

Is there something going on in the church circles?
Or is it just me who is extremely traditional in thinking?
Me, who was never in that teenage church circle of "closeness" come in and looks at it with an outsider's point of view, thinking there is something with the relationships, seeing the results of some of them and also falling into it myself..
Me, who was bought up stingy and seeing the "rich" people in the church as materialistic..
Being bought up in a non-xtian family and with not much proper church contact or consistency of people being around me can cause me to have many judgments on people and also be skeptical of trusting people..or myself..
As a type six, i view the world as a dangerous place hehe..
I had wanted to type up many theories for a long time, just didn't know where to begin, so many thoughts clouding my head and wanting to write it in a way that didn't make people feel bad/offended..
I guess the best way is to be cryptic.. and only those who know me and what i am on about will know the true meaning..
And I suppose I myself know the deepest of those mysteries.. :P
But as you can see, I am starting to not have the ability to keep thoughts only to myself..
Is it because of my emotional nature and how I/it have/has been changed by many things?
I have met so many out there who have deeper crypticsm than me, and i feel the same as them yet at the same time i feel frustrated at not being able to let it out.., seeing them is seeing me in a more extreme version..
yes i often do not know how to express myself, and i am learning, i do feel like i have lost my language skills or never learnt how to use them properly because of my stuffed up childhood learning experiences..
Sometimes i may appear to know what i am talking about, but that is not the case..
Ahh how I love the language in my friend's blog, oh so metaphorical, filled with analogies, only able to be deciphered by herself and those close to her.. it is wonderful :P
Am i delusional? lol, as a child, i had a few silly careers i wanted to be..
One was a pet store, so that i could have pets with out really having them hahaha
Another was a stationery store, so that i could have the coolest stationery whenever i wanted :P
and the last was to be a writer, because in my junior high school years i had read many books..
But all these are just dreams, do you think i could be a writer with such limited skills and fragments of thoughts? that is what i think my thoughts are like on the screen, fragments..
But maybe, maybe some people love to read this sort of stuff, i think.. hehe..
In my dreams...
A friend said to me once that dreams may forever only stay as dreams, i have thought about this sometimes and convinced myself about my unrealistic thoughts/ideals..
It is a very interesting thought, that sometimes dreams are pleasant because they will never come true and to be in the dream/experiencing it, you are paused in space for that moment of time thinking about whatever..

So am i affected by dependencies?
Well yes i am in someways..
I tend to share things with people i trust and there arent that many of them..
and when i share with them i tend to put it all on them in fear that there will be noone else who can understand as well..
when i rely on others i tend to do that also.. but it is bad, in doing the reliance on one person [just because i am scared of relying on too many others] too much i am burdening that one person..
So how do i solve it? haha
well I have sam...
poor sam :P

Emotional Dependency..
Isn't that what starts most relationships?
Yes if they are both single, or ...?
Well my theory is based on observation of how most relationships start, and how mine started as well...
Most cases, Christian cases that i have heard of, is that
1> Either the girl and the guy go thru a tough time, then the one who does consoles with the other, and then because he/she only talks to them about the trouble and noone else, a dependency develops, and something happens..
2> The girl and or guy has lots of free time and are bored and talk to each other a lot cos there is noone else, then they talk more and more and hint things to each other..
3> The girl and guy are forced to be together and do most things together, and eventually they like it, spend more and more time together and something happens...
4> normal friends, who dont think anything, but talk quite often, but when someone makes a comment about them being close, something is added to the mind and it makes things happen..
5> basically spending a significant amount of time with mostly one person of the opposite sex/or even same sex, can cause thoughts to occur...

That kinda feeling...
---------------------------------

Hmm i was thinking of a theory unconciously for a while..
I think that feelings don't just go so easily..
Even though you may not think of it anymore/at all, when you actually see that person or something that reminds you of them there will still be something..
This is what i think.. those people in the past, i think that if i do see them again ever i may still act the same way as i used to but less maybe..

e.g this guy in yr 8-9 - i always observed him or u could say "stalked" :P
so i guess if i ever see him again i may still be shy to actually talk to him hahaha.. and still try to avoid contact but just observe at a distance...
So the term "falling out of love" - well even tho i do not think it was love.. but just attraction maybe.. but if you put that term in there you could say that attraction is always there, just that distance makes you "forget" it.. "out of sight out of mind" thing, it is true..
But for "absence makes the heart grow fonder" - i don't think that would happen for me, maybe cos i was too young haha.. but it might happen if i dwell on it a lot hehe, like if i think of those times "we" had,.. not that we had any.. but the "contact/snipets of time" we had..
Like after i had left that school and went to Abbotsleigh, i regreted not being friends with him, but then i also think now that maybe we could never be friends...
Anyway he wasn't Christian and sweared :P
I always used to recall those times again and again cos they were so "cute" :P the way he tried to get my attention in yr 7, and how people in class liked to put us together. Then later when he seemed like he wasn't "interested" in me, i started to like him.. and i still remember, outside the music room, i thought to myself "it's ok to like someone" lol... But i think i thought about those "moments" too much that i later had dreams with him briefly in it..
But i was so innocent then... lol..

Related characteristics?

I have observed many bgr relationships and have seen that each of them do in fact resemble each other's relatives..

For example Girl A is similar to the Guy A's sister whether appearance or personality wise.

For Sam and I,  I see that he has many characteristics of my dad and brother, and maybe even my mum. He also looks like a part of my mum's family, closest match is my 9 Uncle.

Interesting ne? [which btw is my blog address hehe]

This is interesting...

I found this in a friend's blog...

If art bears witness to an enduring fascination with the body, so, too, does language. A close analysis reveals how deeply notions of the body have permeated the metaphoric structure of everyday English. For example, we say the heart of the city, the foot of the mountain, the mouth of a cave, the nose of a plane. We lend a hand, head up a team, have a good nose for a story, have a sweet tooth and a green thumb, keep our eye on the ball and our ear to the ground. We've got a weight on our shoulders, but lack the stomach for action. We speak of broadening the mind, costing an arm and a leg, being a pain in the neck and, rather oddly, making it by the skin of our teeth.

Do they know you or do you know them too much?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days I suddenly realised this theory.. it's been drifting in my mind..
People who love to talk to you a lot about themselves actually don't know much about you in some aspects.
I have a few friends like that.. they often give me things that they think is my style.. but in actual fact.. it is the opposite... and I think i tell them that.. but they don't seem to remember... or maybe i just look like a stereotypical sort of person such that they will always see me in that light and put me in that box...
same goes for me and some other people.. i can see that for myself.. those people i talk to a lot.. i know less about their certain aspects than they know about me...
interesting isn't it.. is there such a thing as a balanced friendship?

Oh btw
two posts below this im talking about internal conflicts..
and recently.. i put as my signature in email "To do or not to do ..is that the question?..To live is Christ and to die is gain"
errm it may not make sense.. but kinda says that whatever you do if u do it for Christ it is ok.. ?
:P maybe someone can analyse and decode my unconsciousness...

This is from a church friend Carol, it's pretty good analogy =)

"Non-Christians will probably never read the bible, so we as Christians are to be a living bible for them to read, everything we do and say can show whether we are living by God's word.."
That's why it is important to not swear or do anything bad that makes God's name bad.. it's not the act that is bad itself in some cases.. but it is the affect it has on other people and their perspective of a Christian.

Internal conflicts.. why do people have it?
Why some more than others?
I think I have a problem with it at times..
my brain is constantly deciding which one which one? I can't deciiide~~~ etc
Especially under stressed conditions.. it's either I am selfish.. or I have a brain explosion.. why is that??
Hmmm
i'm zzz now so I write later...
ttyl