Hmmm

I didnt know people regularly visited :P i thought they would visit my other one/s :P
ok I will put up more of my SOCA essay.. only bits of it so as not to confuse ppls...hehe
*NB there are cutouts that I didnt put in my final essay so even those who have read a near final have not seen some of them..
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Distancing yourself from yourself is a somewhat different kind of objectifying; it is causing yourself to be included in the object view. This is like seeing the world with you in it but as if you are watching a movie, seeing the world you live in third person, as if you were a nothing and watching yourself interact with other people. This may happen when you tune out or time “stops for a second” and you think of how the other person would/should react when/if you do a certain thing. I think this may happen more often for people with an abstract mind, who watches a lot of media such as dramas or things that are very descriptive. For me, this is the case because I think I sometimes can imagine a scene similar to the past movies I have watched, but instead, I imagine myself as the main character and also can imagine the other person talking, acting or thinking in a certain way towards me as in the movies. This is a weird disconnection of self and a relating to the nothingness – a sense of self is not there. I am protected by nothingness when observing myself in the world.

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Music often can bring one to reflect on things and not be in the present state of mind. It reminds you of past events, future possible events, artificial events, created things, etc. For me I find that whenever I am listening to music and I enjoy it, if it has lyrics and I like it I will like listening to it for the meanings and relate it to myself and things that relate to me. When this happens I often don’t notice the surroundings, especially if I am alone or on public transport I will pretty much be absorbed into the music. This can relate to that picture of monotony –everyone doing their own thing and getting to their destination – being absorbed into their own “nothingness”. This would be an I-Thou relation, as I am aware of nothing else around me, I am one with the music.

If the music is pure, without voice, then I would often relate to things that are more artificial and not in the present time, things like movies and anime and sometimes relating that to me or other people; being in a “fantasy world”. Sometimes certain music can make me feel as if I am part of a music video in a nice artificial or real fantasy nature place, the sun shining down and wind blowing gently on my hair. Some can create images in my mind depending on the type of music, minor tunes creates dark, mysterious imagery; major key tunes create lively and bright imagery.

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When playing an instrument, depending on how eager you are or how much you want to learn a new song or replay an old favourite will enable you to be absorbed into your world also. With my experience, when I want to play a certain piece on the piano I feel as though I am not really there, as if I am the music – the music and I are one, the I-Thou relation, and once I stop I am back in reality. The same can apply to something I really want to learn – I don’t stop till I feel tired of it or that I have accomplished something.

Some people may be more passionate about playing an instrument, while others just want to focus on getting that one song right. Most, like me, don’t like to practice, and therefore if they like a song they just want to get it over and done with, how ever many mistakes, as long as it sounds like what the tune is and as long as it isn’t too hard for their level, they will keep playing until they are sick of it, but might not really get it to perfection This is because “practice makes perfect”, practice takes time and therefore perfection becomes like an object to be achieved. This is an interruption of being in “my world”. When you are playing an instrument and you suddenly wonder what your fingers are doing and where they are putting themselves, then you will unconsciously notice what you are playing and it will have a negative affect on you, because you are observing yourself – the absorbed self, playing the instrument automatically. This observing of oneself will take you out of your world and you will become self-conscious of how well you are playing and whether you are getting it right or not. Then your attitude will change, you are no longer playing for enjoyment because you are busy getting the notes correct. The self-consciousness will distance you from the instrument and therefore making it the I-It relation. So when it becomes an object the enjoyment of the song is lost. Even when you know the songs off by heart, when you objectify your playing; you may lose the beat or atmosphere of the piece. But if you let it go and just play without thinking – just letting your automated senses take over, you will find your fingers glide gracefully over the keys and you hear the sound of the music played fluently.

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Daydreaming can also relate to the “own world” theory. I often daydream when my thoughts wander away from the present situation. This can come from tiredness, monotony, lack of interest, or just a low concentration span. Sometimes I can be so tired that even though I am concentrating on that situation, my mind automatically wanders to a different place, a place that sometimes does not make sense. When I daydream – if it is unconscious, it’s more like a dream and I enter different worlds, which may or may not look familiar to me. Often though, daydreams are more temporary and not as clear. One may forget the daydream as soon as it is over. This happens especially when you have come back to doing your task in reality.

The more conscious daydream is, being absorbed into your thoughts about the past or what is going to happen in the future –something that has or is going to affect your life and/or others. It could be a decision, event or conversation. Most of the time it is something that takes up your mental space because it is first on your mind or something in the present situation reminds you of that event/thing. This form of distance always disconnects you from the surroundings and other people and you “become your thoughts” – you and your thoughts are one; other people are moving slowly or have disappeared and you can only see your thoughts.

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Another example I can think of is when you engage in a monologue with someone – that is, when you want to tell someone something, and so you are fully absorbed within yourself, not really aware of your surroundings only seeing your thoughts and the things you are saying and just aiming it at the person you are talking to, just trying to let it all out and wherever they walk you just follow, blindly because you are too focused on your monologue, attached to it.

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How do I feel about this “being in my world” thing: I do like it and I like to think of it as a “place” where I am secure and can be myself and can express myself or find time to think about things and sort them out.

By observing and being in “my world” I acquire skills that are useful for building relationships, and relating to people in general. Things learnt in “my world” are reflected in the real world although they can be superficial at times, e.g. the imagining of movie situations doesn’t always happen in real life the same way.