Angel of music...

I've realised that whenever I listen to music/songs I love I tend to listen to the words more and dwell on them and relate them to myself..
I also find that when i do listen to these favorites a lot, my mind can go haywire according to the music :P
What I mean is, my emotions are more connected to songs now a days, I have become more emotional.. and sensitive to the words in songs.. sometimes i think about it too much and can be bad.. eg if there was some weird song like Toxic by Britney, well quite a majority of ppl would claim they sing/like it for the music and the beat only.. but when i focus on listening to music these days, I tend to notice the words a little too much...
hehe
Music of course can also make me go daydreaming.. especially the ones I love, the jap ones, or the eng ones with nice melodies.. I can sometimes drift into a sort of mtv :P and imagine the scenery and a slight breeze blowing gently through my hair.. :P
That's why I like jpop - mostly the slow/moderate ones - cos they have nice melodies that allow me to imagine~~~~~~~~~

If only...

So many popular stories these days are based on the idea of "if only"
I can see why it is such an interesting thing to write about, I can go thru so many possiblities with "if only" so many stories can be made up ...
But this is Reality.. and "if only" doesn't happen..
That's why movies and tv shows are made, cos they represent the "if only"s we want to experience haha, and they let us be involved with their lives..even though it is made up..or distanced.. we still are able to make connections with it..

Shower and it's inspirations~

I've had this theory for a long time, or maybe it isnt a theory but more of an observation...
Showering means hot water
it also means "alone" time in a closed enviroment
and it means automatic processes

What this means is when our mind is in such an enviroment it has lots of freedom of thought and wonderful amounts of blood to the brain caused by the hot water..

It means this is the best place to think up of theories and think clearly about things.. maybe.. or be even more confused and in a dream like state..
i always like having the heat lamp on so it creates a very nice bright sunny enviroment hehe.. i dislike it when i close my eyes cos that means darkness and i feel vulnerable in that white light...

Friends...

I've realised that I'm pretty self focused, always worrying too much about what ppl think about myself.. I found that I'm the type who often waits for ppl to initiates to talk to me etc, or make effort to keep up with relations.. --I used to be like this.. cos i wasnt the one to call ppl or organise things, cos i normally wouldnt be allowed to go out that much so that i let others do the organising so that i could maybe go etc..
But lately I've talked to a friend or two and they showed different views of me..
- The fact that i don't talk to my friends much.. unless they do me - like my highschool or primary school friends, and even some acquaintances..
- The fact that I make effort to talk to some ppl but don't get the same in return...

I think it might be somewhat related to the way we first start off as friends, like whether they were the one who wanted to talk to me a lot or me who did etc..
quite interesting..
i was "rebuked" by a friend just then saying that i dont keep up with our friends in hs etc :P and that i should try more...
but then i said that i spend time on other friends too.. etc
well that's the prob of having too many "friends" and acquaintances so much that i dont have close friends.. and so much that all my friends are demanding attn :P
well i dont know what to do.. but i will try my best .. and not be lazy ..:P