Social norms

In our last psych tute today we were talking about social norms.. and there was this one which refered to making friends..
Basically, in Australia supposedly people are more blunt, and when they meet someone they will be more willing to share deeply and openly about stuff than people in Canada do - they are very polite to each other and work on building up the relationship before they expose themselves more..
interesting.. so which one am I, I wonder?
I think I alternate hehe.. since Chinese culture.. I think are the type that keep to themselves more..? but then I've found that international students who are from that type of background tend to share heaps with another international student when they come to australia.. so i dunno..
nice to investigate :P

Another thing..-the Closeness ladder-...

Or maybe whenever i "think" i am *closer* friends with someone, i step up the "closeness ladder" a bit too much and i over do it..
What I mean about the closeness ladder/level is the level of speech you can use with certain "levels" of friendship... eg with an aquaintance you will talk in a certain way, very polite, not deep, just surface chat -> or when I talk to my brother, - fully speaking my mind without blinking at times..
So when I think I am close with someone I step up the ladder a bit too much, too fast and i experience rebound instead of exchange..
I need to take things slower I guess... but suppose I am bad at judging when I can use a certain language, when I can step a bit more into someone's life..
I used to be shy and not do anything at all, treating all friends with a similar attitude, building a wall around myself..
But now I wish to break that wall.. but maybe I break it too quickly, too hard..
I can see why I was shy and want to Not be.. but maybe somethings can never really be changed.. and the result of trying to break the wall makes me rebuild it again..

Too close for comfort...

I have discovered why I don't have even a few close friends..
I think it is because whenever I do have friends who become slightly close and when I am concerned for them and make the move to say something, however way I say it, sometimes I may be slightly insensitive in my expression because I haven't thought enough of it, or I might be thinking about it too much in one instant and initiating because of adrenaline/impulsive thinking?, or even if I try hard to be sensitive it turns out wrong and I end up hurt.. I try to be nice and I end up getting hurt over small things friends say to me.. Or maybe it's just that I haven't had friends who "speak the truth/rebuke" me unconciously in a long time..
Maybe people do sense that I am sensitive when it comes to those type of things and therefore find it hard to tell me when something is wrong, but I rather they tell me earlier in order to not experience the explosion of emotion that is suppressed.. I do sense it even though people may try to keep it under control.. their facial expressions, the way they say it to someone else and it is said back to me..
it scares me for that moment, and I dwell on it for a period of time and then it slowly leaves me... but it will always linger in the back of my mind..

So what is it? I am trying too hard to make friends, so I push them away and hurt them and myself,.. is that it?
Or I just simply cannot make those kinds of friends because I have not had experiences in early adolescence to teach me How to?
Or because I see the pain that can be caused between friends that are close..and I am scared to experience it...
I can see a theory in this though that relates to a quote "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" -- can apply to friendship... having good friends may cause pain but you also receive special "attention" from them..
But sometimes I am just too scared something will happen that will destroy instead of strengthen friendship...