Is it such a bad thing? {ref: need to belong entry}

A friend asked me:
Is there anything wrong to want to be like your friends?

my reply:
hehehe just that i lose my identity and self?

their response:
does that matter?

My response:
well too much of something isnt good anyway
it means even if u feel suffering you dont want out cos u want to belong?
it means you cant express yourself because you agree with everyone else?
..
So I guess it's the too much thing, and the restrictedness.. and it's like joining a gang.. -- that's why there are gangs - cos ppl want to belong

Continued:
X:
why do you think today's society values "individuality" so much?

Me:
cos ppl conformed too much in the olden days?
cos bad things happened in the past when ppl followed a big crowd?
hnmmmm
well i suppose ppl want to be outstanding as well
and ppl want to be noticed.seen
ppl want to be famous

X:
yeahh.... so it's really self-centeredness

Me:
yeh..
but i wasnt exactly focused on that alone
i suppose there are two ways of looking at it
it's what stumbles you
and others
helpfulness
and maybe questioning of self.. why are you doing this? etc
and low self esteem

X:
anyway ... okay well i guess trying too hard to conform isn't good...

Me:
nods

X:
but not conforming for the sake of being different isn't good idea

Me:
yes true true
basically all about which is helpful or not
~~~~~~~~~~~~
=)

Trying too hard to be like them..normality vs uniqueness

I've realised from the past experiences and now as well.. that I've wanted to belong so much, I've wanted to keep friends, or I've wanted to share common interests.. that I "try too hard" -was a friend's way of saying when I complained..

In primary school..
>I was influenced by the "boy next door" to be a tomboy, cos I hung around him a lot
>I tried to cover my boyish hair cut with my school hat
>I tried too hard to be normal by not doing my best in english class in HK
>I let people make me do oaths, and read their books

In highschool
>I pretended to know what ppl were saying when I didn't really, to not seem dumb - i still do that to some degree nowadays 0=)
>Trying to be nice to people even though they were so mean
>Trying out friends' interests and even tho I later don't like it too much, still pretending to like or persevering [sp?]
>Taking up friend's interests as my own
>I don't put my hand up even tho I know the answer cos I don't want to stand out as the "smart/tech"

Since people often find my interests weird [whenever I share them], and hardly many share them with me, i become self focused/concious, and don't share as much about myself.. fearing judgement by others..and rejection/neglect