:)

Sometimes.. you just need to let go of what you think is best for you and hold on to the one who knows what is good for you..
let go of the world..what it tells us is good.. even tho u feel like it is, God doesn't think so..

The first connection...

I think when you meet a person for the first time and talk to them and then find out you have a similar wavelength you would talk to that person for a longg time to get to know each other and sort out your similarities and differences.. and then you would slowly talk less and less cos u already know them well enough..
but you would share more and more too..
but why are there people on my msn list who just don't talk to me at all?
I wonder if i ever was on the same wavelength as them, or maybe childhood/teen friends are too different now? they have changed? they cant talk much on the same wavelength anymore.. it is sad..
Then there are those who aren't really on your wavelength.. they would talk less at first and then less and less until you don't really talk at all.. only maybe once every month or few months..

Do you think that those who are too similar to you can take up too much of your time? and that would be bad? What about those who find it hard to stop talking cos they don't want to interrupt the flow of the conversation even though it is late and need to sleep? but then again.. maybe that is the beginning of friendship where ppl are polite and don't know when to stop.. i am often like that.. i don't know when to leave cos i like staying at my friend's place too much or i like talking to them too much..
sigh.. such is life ^_^

Dreams?

My aunt says that dreams can't really unconciously tell you about your concious life cos the holy spirit should tell you this in awake life..
I'm not sure about this, cos I think that God can use many ways to give us messages, like you may unconciously know someone is like this, or giving you passive hints etc, and you might dream and know about this.. so you become concious of it?
Often I dream about the things that happened the day before or what my thoughts were, and they are developed more etc in my mind...
What do you think?
Please discuss here

My new Forums~

http://omoshiroine.forumup.org/

come discuss anything! =)

Is it such a bad thing? {ref: need to belong entry}

A friend asked me:
Is there anything wrong to want to be like your friends?

my reply:
hehehe just that i lose my identity and self?

their response:
does that matter?

My response:
well too much of something isnt good anyway
it means even if u feel suffering you dont want out cos u want to belong?
it means you cant express yourself because you agree with everyone else?
..
So I guess it's the too much thing, and the restrictedness.. and it's like joining a gang.. -- that's why there are gangs - cos ppl want to belong

Continued:
X:
why do you think today's society values "individuality" so much?

Me:
cos ppl conformed too much in the olden days?
cos bad things happened in the past when ppl followed a big crowd?
hnmmmm
well i suppose ppl want to be outstanding as well
and ppl want to be noticed.seen
ppl want to be famous

X:
yeahh.... so it's really self-centeredness

Me:
yeh..
but i wasnt exactly focused on that alone
i suppose there are two ways of looking at it
it's what stumbles you
and others
helpfulness
and maybe questioning of self.. why are you doing this? etc
and low self esteem

X:
anyway ... okay well i guess trying too hard to conform isn't good...

Me:
nods

X:
but not conforming for the sake of being different isn't good idea

Me:
yes true true
basically all about which is helpful or not
~~~~~~~~~~~~
=)

Trying too hard to be like them..normality vs uniqueness

I've realised from the past experiences and now as well.. that I've wanted to belong so much, I've wanted to keep friends, or I've wanted to share common interests.. that I "try too hard" -was a friend's way of saying when I complained..

In primary school..
>I was influenced by the "boy next door" to be a tomboy, cos I hung around him a lot
>I tried to cover my boyish hair cut with my school hat
>I tried too hard to be normal by not doing my best in english class in HK
>I let people make me do oaths, and read their books

In highschool
>I pretended to know what ppl were saying when I didn't really, to not seem dumb - i still do that to some degree nowadays 0=)
>Trying to be nice to people even though they were so mean
>Trying out friends' interests and even tho I later don't like it too much, still pretending to like or persevering [sp?]
>Taking up friend's interests as my own
>I don't put my hand up even tho I know the answer cos I don't want to stand out as the "smart/tech"

Since people often find my interests weird [whenever I share them], and hardly many share them with me, i become self focused/concious, and don't share as much about myself.. fearing judgement by others..and rejection/neglect

limiting myself from who i really am or creating what i want..freedom of thought.. is that a good thing?

[Edit: it starts off with a poem, and it ends..with thoughts]
why does my mind drift everywhere
i feel as if i want to shout but i cant
why are some so brave to become independent
yet i feel like i am directionally lost
why am i running after immediate pleasures
I feel as if am I escaping from the reality that bites
why do i live in the now and not think about the tomorrow
i feel like i am distorted, stuck in time
why does some people get what they want, when they want it
i feel like i don't really get what i need or want, but a distorted version of it
why do butterflies have wings and they fly aimlessly at the sky looking for some colour so that they can live
i feel like i am a butterfly looking for colourful things and like the butterfly i in the end die
why does this pain take so long to go away
i feel as if i am going around in circles
why are my thoughts so fragmented
i feel like my life is too
why am i typing this poem that asks a question and
answers with a feeling
i feel like i don't want to break the chain that i have created
why, maybe i am a perfectionist
i feel like i want to create pieces that are meaningful and yet mysterious
why? just to gain attention?
yes, maybe i feel like i lack the attention
why? because i hardly get a chance to write something creative?
then what does this poem mean? that i have expressed something that isnt something
something that doesn't really make sense
i feel like all these are rhetorical questions that go around and around
will i always be asking and never answering or even wanting an answer?
freedom of thought, that is what i am doing now
just typing off the top of my head
just trying to be creative
why do i want to be creative?
i am typing faster and faster, not needing to think anymore
why? because i have somehow broken the perfect poem
and now
i am just trying to make it sound nice..
what is nice?
something that others will read?
do i really need others to read this?
can't i just keep it to myself?
i love writing questions don't i
i wonder if people will ever like this style of creative writing
i wonder if i will ever become an author of something
i really did wish that i would somehow be famous one day,
but famous in the sense that they know that a girl did this or that.. but that girl is a mystery
and noone knows who it is.. just that a girl by some pen name.. did/wrote/thought of/conjured this.
i wonder how i can become that...
[edit: to be famous but not really, but to be a mystery who is famous :P, maybe famous isnt the word, more like, to be known, to be part of history...]
i have realised that forcing oneself to become creative is very limiting.
but allowing the freedom of thought to just flow out like this and just type and type it.. is just.. bliss
[that isnt my word, yet i use it,.. cos i cannot think of any other word.. why am i afraid of using other people's words?]
"i was lost but now I am found, amazing grace how sweet the sound.."
*smiles* creative freedom of speech achieved, even though fragmented.
finally my mind can be slowly emptied, even a little...

Re: love stories

http://wdyt.com.au/quickPoll/quickPoll/507/

Do you think romantic books and movies inspire romance, or do they set unrealistic expectations for relationships?
They inspire me
6.92%

I think they set unrealistic expectations
22.24%

A bit of both
37.5%

Neither, I just read/watch them for a bit of throw-away fun
13.98%

I'm not a fan of the romance genre
19.36%
Poll Opened: 13/10/05 Total Votes at 10/11/05: 6923
Suggested by: nice gal